[20 March 2012 -
This headline was run by the BBC]
"Do hunger hormones make us fat?" =
No. Forks near mouths made 'Huge!'.
[10 March 2012 -
A shooting rampage occurred in the waiting room of a Pennsylvania
phychiatric clinic.]
The loon stops at the psychiatrist's office =
"Psst! I set off to shoot the clinic as therapy."
[10 March 2012 -
The US-market recipe for Pepsi (and Coca-Cola also) was changed in
response to one of the standard ingredients being declared a
carcinogen in California. The company wanted to avoid having to put
warning labels on the cans.]
California has deemed Pepsi carcinogenic =
Panic led aims for a recipe-change decision.
Or, simpler,
Pepsi deemed carcinogenic in CA =
Mice died. Recipe panic. Cans gone.
[27 February 2012 -
Two people died in a fire at Brazil's Antarctic research
station.]
Antarctic bonfire - film says a blaze razed ~
Brazil's Comandante Ferraz base facility.
[13 February 2012 -
An official with an Indonesian religious affairs office, which grants
marriage licences, estimated that a new requirement for each couple
to plant two trees before receiving one will result in at least 2,000 new trees a
month gracing Medan.]
The couples getting married in Medan, on Sulawesi island =
Indonesian rules: each Muslim digs, planting a tree, to wed.
[12 February 2012]
Whitney Houston dead = That Winehousy OD end
[10 January 2012 -
Kim Jong-il died.]
'Dear Leader' ... Er, real dead.
[13 November 2011 -
Russia's Phobos Grunt spacecraft was still circling Earth, as engineers
tried to communicate with it and get it to respond. The engine that was
supposed to take it to Mars didn't fire.]
The Russian Phobos Grunt mission =
Unit hushes so is not probing Mars.
[10 November 2011 -
Sidney Nsubunga Enoch was given a 30-year prison sentence for
murdering Uganda's leading gay rights activist.]
Sidney Nsubunga Enoch = Gay bunch needs unions!
Sidney Nsubunga Enoch: "Shun/denounce/bin gays!"
[August 2011 -
Gerard Depardieu was accused of urinating on the floor of an aeroplane
when told that he could use the toilet only later in the
flight.]
Gerard Depardieu =
A rude drip, agreed?
[August 2011 -
This one is pretty self-explanatory]
Riots and looting in England =
Ignorant lads ignite London.
[July 2011]
The singer Amy Winehouse found dead =
Hey, was drug infusion needed at home?
[17 June 2011 -
A day of civil disobedience planned was held in Saudi Arabia:
women with a valid driving licence from another country were
encouraged to drive around, and others are to be taught, on private
property. how to drive.]
Women drivers' day = Men advised 'Worry!'
[6 June 2011 -
An elderly woman selling 'suicide kits' typically to those with
terminal diseases hit the news after a young man not in this category
used one of the contraptions.]
Suicide kits =
Sick? I'd use it.
[24 March 2011 -
Pop artists the Pet Shop Boys launched their first ballet, an adaptation of a fairy
tale by perhaps-spinning-in-his-grave Hans Christian Andersen. One
reviewer described this as featuring 'waffling choreography', and
others are far less charitable.]
Pet Shop Boys launch their first ballet =
Britons help plot a faithless butchery.
[13 March 2010 -
With the worrying news of partial meltdown at a Japanese nuclear power
plant in the wake of the recent earthquake, and the prospect of meltdown
looming for a second reactor at the complex...]
And another natural-disaster-related anagram:
"An earthquake achieves what the law promises but does not in practice
maintain - the equality of all men" - Ignazio Silone
=
It shows amazing hope too: the finest human capabilities quickly
called on via elements (earth, water) in a non-quiet area.
[2 March 2010 -
A study hits the news:
[...] By the end of the talk, she says, "All the coffee had reached my
bladder. And that raised the question: What happens when people
experience higher levels of bladder control?"
[...]
The researchers found that the people with full bladders were better
at holding out for the larger reward later.
[...]
"You seem to make better decisions when you have a full bladder," Tuk
says. So maybe you should drink a bottle of water before making a
decision about your stock portfolio [...]]
[11 February 2010 -
Nokia stocks fell 14.mumble per cent after Nokia CEO and
Microsoft shareholder Stephen Elop announced the 'broad strategic
partnership', less than a week after he sent out an internal memo
describing Nokia as being on a burning platform.]
Nokia-plus-Microsoft deal = Platform sinks - cool! Adieu.
Nokia's CEO, Stephen Elop ~ to escape open sinkhole?
[6 February 2010 -
Legendary guitarist Gary Moore has died at the age of 58. From the
saddest blues to the most blistering solos, he will be missed.]
[December 2010 -
Full-body scanners are being rolled out in more airports, prompting
outrage from those who see this 'virtual strip search' as an invasion
of privacy. A previous tweak to the system in at least some
jurisdictions in the UK involved exempting under-18s from these scans,
in the wake of outrage from some privacy-focused groups.]
[19 October 2010 -
Siegfried Rotthaeuser is circumventing - and making a statement about
- an impending EU ban on high-wattage light bulbs, by selling the same
product as 'heatballs'. For each of these 95% efficient small heaters
sold, he will donate 30 cents to saving the rainforest.]
Siegfried Rotthaeuser ~ steers heat for rigid EU.
Siegfried Rotthaeuser = Sir, I'd get 'heaters' for EU.
[13 October 2010 -
Finally, all 33 people trapped in a collapsed mine in Chile were
rescued after months of painstaking drilling and rescue attempts.]
The mine rescue is finished at last =
Itchiest men tease "Furnish ladies!" =
Mess in Chile - it unearthed fiestas.
And shortly thereafter, one of them faced interesting times: While he was trapped undergound, his wife and mistress found out about each other just outside the mine.
A Chilean wife and mistress meet. =
Free man in a mess with ladies, etc.
[10 September 2010 -
On Friday, founding member of the Electric Light Orchestra Mike
Edwards died in a freak accident*: a bale of hay rolled down a hill in
Devon and crashed into the 62-year-old cellist's van, causing him to
swerve into another vehicle.]
Cellist Mike Edwards ~ said: "Wreck stilled me."
[28 August 2010 -
Deemed worthy to be front-page news - and therefore worthy of an
anagram - socialite Paris Hilton was riding in a car that was pouring
out marijuana smoke. When the cops pulled the vehicle over, a crowd
started to form, so the police ushered her and the driver into a more
secluded area. At this point, Hilton decided that she needed to apply
her lip balm. We join the story here.]
The American pop celebrity and rich-set socialite opening her
purse...
=
The coppers peer in. Naughty imbecile Paris Hilton arrested - cocaine!
[21 August 2010 -
After coming in for a landing, flight attendant Steven Slater yelled
at a passenger over the in-flight intercom, grabbed at least one beer
from the refreshments trolley, and escaped via the plane's emergency
exit.]
...At this time, please make sure that your seat belts are securely
fastened, and that your tray tables are locked and in the upright
position and your carry-on baggage is securely stowed in the overhead
bins or under the...
=
Prepare for l-- Arggh! I can't take that rubbish any longer!
I need to curse at a lady - she deserves that, the ugly
turd-teats! - and escape. Also, I could sure use beer. Yes, I'm
bitter. Yes, I ain't workin' here no more... You don't say!
[May 2010 -
Aeroplanes in much of Europe were grounded for days as a result of the
ash cloud from the non-anagrammable Icelandic volcano
Eyjafjallajokull.]
Iceland's volcanic ash plumes = Plan calm avionics schedules.
Iceland's volcanic ash plumes = Claim such can dissolve plane.
[29 November 2009 -
Perhaps feeling starved for publicity, fashion waif Kate Moss made a
comment recently that was blasted by various groups as irresponsible
and as promoting anorexia nervosa. Asked whether she has any mottos,
she replied as follows:]
"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." =
Gist: Kate's style's no-food shenanigans.
Insanest stylishness: Take no food / gag.
No foods, thinness as aging Kate's style.
[November 2009 -
Coming around again to hit the news in a big way
is climate change.]
Climate change tips:
Smiling, accept heat. =
Melt ice as nightcap. =
Cite the magic plans! =
CCTI helps manage it. [US Climate Change
Technology Initiative] =
[November 2009 -
News stories in various countries report fights and other
nastiness at clinics where swine flu vaccine is being offered
to at-risk groups. Opinions vary.]
Fuse when lit... The swine flu.
The swine flu vaccine = We've fun at clinics, eh?
= 'In', chic even. Wasteful.
Civic waste funnel, eh?
[9 October 2008 -
State bank bailouts and spasms in financial
markets have created cause for concern in much of the world.]
A great banking crisis looms - Big managers' risks ain't cool!
And more an 'anti-gram':
Banking crisis = Brisk Gains, Inc.
As for which markets may succeed...
The most solid financial advice I could present =
Invest in a potent alcoholic fluid - ciders, meads, ...
Concerns About Palin's Readiness as a Big Test Nears =
A scatterbrained gal spouts basic nonsense in ears.
Genarlow Wilson = Er, no swallowing!
Telecoms Sans Frontieres ~ transfers me to silence. So...
National Vegetarian Week =
An olive (Greek). Wanna eat it?
Michaelle Jean's Inuit blanket toss =
"As mine's a nice state job, I'll hunt elk."
(Since the event was held in an auditorium, I'm guessing no elk were to be found, though.)
We all know the non-PR-friendly translation...]
Baggage retrieval issues = See luggage arrive as bits.
The United States dollar =
Tatters halted delusion. =
Old lira sat untested. =
All said "Trusted note??"
[24 February 2008 -
In the wake of reports of Cuban leader Fidel Castro's impending
demise, the media prove that they will make much of any shred of news
on developments in Cuba for the next little while.]
'Fidel Castro steps down' = Plot is newscast fodder.
[7 February 2008 -
Dr. Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of
Canterbury, sparks controversy with his opinion that Muslims in the UK
should be allowed to choose to apply Islamic law rather than UK law.]
Rowan Williams = 'Law in Islam' row.
The suicide note said 'Sorry for everything'. =
His draft, 'I'd try shooting everyone!', cues ire.
Enola Gay pilot Paul W. Tibbets =
Little boy upbeat - a Nip's aglow.
Dubya: "I'll damage, topple, press, and downsize Iran!" ~
And Putin says: "mad people wielding razor blades".
A 'saint' rests, done, yet sad old ladies cry in pain =
Today, ten years on, Princess Diana is still dead.
For those who don't remember:
Car dispensed ~ dead princess.
Metro: "heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, ketamine, and booze" =
Those make one crazy-arse medicine cabinet too, no?
Georges Prosper Remi's cartoon "Tintin" ~ promotes racist tripe. No negroes grin.
Deborah Jeane Palfrey
Horny Rep. + a fee = a BJ deal
Computer-generated images = Men agree Potter used magic.
Heat device + SS mentality = the Active Denial System.
Australia's trend: natural disaster.
"We are also pushing for an urgent end to the current hostilities, but
the views of the parties on how to achieve this are different."
- Ms Condoleeza Rice
US Secretary of State
=
"Truth's we hate to infuriate or hurt groups of crazies that are
friends with us. I see fit to voice nothing to condemn Israel's acts.
We feel a very clear need to be sheep - honest."
First time ever: Finland makes Eurovision Song Contest Finals! =
Nation's giant, offensive monsters suck! Lordi're evil manifest!!
The Dark Blue crew are victorious in The Boat Race =
I taunt CU - "I'd teach heroic rowers: overtake rabble."
Cindy Sheehan's tee = 'Hey, Hanes is decent!'
Breast byline: Stanley H. Biber
The State of Louisiana ~
is afloat out in the sea.
In international news Friday is:
The UK today launched a massive attempt to elicit info related to three
terrorist bombs inside the Underground and a later eerie blast that tore
open a central London bus.
(Yes, they reiterate 'terror won't win!')
=
"Listen, and understand. That Terminator is out there. It can't be
bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity. Or
remorse. Or fear. And it absolutely will not stop - EVER! - until you
are DEAD."
-- Kyle Reese (to Sarah Conner), in The Terminator
Tom Cruise Declares Undying Love for Katie Holmes on Oprah. =
"I do"'s forever - oh, up until Scientology con makes her alarmed.
In the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla... ~
sing a mild choral preface: 'Candle in the Wind'!
The royal wedding of Prince Charles Windsor to Camilla Parker Bowles =
Small-eared chap (dirt-poor worker)'s now won angelic bride (chaste
filly).
The royal wedding of Prince Charles Windsor to Camilla =
Widower'll confide marriage plan's tiny catch: old horse.
[January 2005 -
Concerns about terrorism continue. How far will the
security measures or paranoia go?]
Making terroristic threats
= It's ticking? Roar 'Arrest them!'
= Anarchist got striker/timer.
[November 2004 -
A study shows that, apparently, 70% of people would
willingly trade their computer password for a bar of chocolate. Fears
are yet again raised about corporate IT security.]
Note: a hacker stole my PC password =
Chocolate wrappers sat on my desk.
[October 2004 -
Researchers report that four out of 10 medical
students believe it can be justified to have a sexual relationship with a
patient. Headlines blare out 'Doctor--Patient Survey Shock'.]
Somewhat rude anagrams on the topic:
Doctor--Patient Survey Shock
= Every scrip had 'to suck...' - OTT, no?
= Scurvy? Take Hotdoctorpenis.
[September 2004 -
Prime Minister Tony Blair is due to undergo catheter
ablation surgery for a heart condition. Some express a desire
for a, literally, morbid outcome.]
The PM's catheter ablation surgery =
Chest tears open! May Blair get hurt!
[May 2004 -
Several new countries join the EU.]
Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Hungary,
Malta, Cyprus, and Slovenia...
=
Huh?
A Baltic trio, Central European & Slavic land citizens, & islands having
a May EU hookup. All pay VAT.
=
Not: Pitcairn; Somalia; Tuvalu; Gaza Strip, Palestine;
Kenya; Chad; Holland; Bolivia; church nave, Ely; USA.
[February 2004
- Speculation is rife about what NASA's Mars mission
might find. There is much talk of water... The Spirit rover's mission
proceeds despite a software error, which was dutifully noted in the log files as the flash memory filled with
old file and directory entries. On Mars, the rover continuously tries to
reboot, but a low-level deletion run by NASA saves the day.]
The NASA Spirit Mars rover = Rain, river, stream, hot spas...
(It was intended to 'spot their river' after all.)
The NASA Spirit Mars rover = a PR error - natives smash it.
Mars rover Spirit = Storm arrives. RIP.
A little software glitch = Logfiles alert with tact.
[October 2003 -
Magician David Blaine's spectacle of remaining in a
perspex box high over London generates a 'ho-hum' response from many
critics.]
A Blaine-in-the-box =
One banal exhibit!
[August 2003 -
Bombing of the UN's building in Baghdad kills over 20 UN
workers, representatives of aid organisations, and guests. Among the dead
is a highly respected man Kofi Annan regarded as a brother.]
The UN's Sergio Vieira de Mello =
Death over US regime's oil line.
[When Brian Wells went to deliver a pizza, he was kidnapped and a bomb placed around his neck. After following orders to rob a bank, he pleaded with the police to save him. Some thought he'd made up the story about a bomb - until he exploded while the bomb squad was on its way. The news carries video of at least part of the incident.]
Pizza delivery man Brian Douglas Wells ~
blew up, sadly. 'Amazing', zillions averred.
The Siamese twins = Site has news item.
Forum Barcelona is 'The Great Meeting for the World We Want' =
Wrath now, once it emerges a bullfighter/matador-free town?
The SARS epidemic = Praise the medics!
"Who's in the photos?" = "The POWs!" "Oh, no. Shit."
This, of course, took place after troops entered Iraq. Various reasons have been offered for the invasion. Here are a couple of them:
Send the troops! = Shorten despot!
(by a few inches at least)
'Destroy all weapons of mass destruction!' =
'See, fool, I want Saddam's country's petrol!'
[February 2003 -
The Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates on re-entry
on the first of the month. I don't need to say much more, other
than that the anagram uses the names of the astronauts who died in
the Shuttle. Judith Resnick was among those who died in the Challenger
accident, and Gus Grissom was a much earlier casualty of man's desire to
explore space.]
Launch is go. Handed cosmic sadness. - Brown, Clark, Ramon, ~
Husband, Chawla, Anderson, McCool. And Resnick, Grissom...
Or, for a slightly different emphasis,
Sadness, anguish. Do scold mechanic. - Brown, Clark, Ramon, ~
Husband, Chawla, Anderson, McCool. And Resnick, Grissom...
[January 2003 -
The World Health Organization issues an alert warning
of potential contamination of food supplies, after some such attempts
were discovered.]
WHO issues alert on food terrorism =
Are donuts or Fritos wholesome, sir?
[October 2002 -
The series of sniper attacks in the Washington, DC,
area is finally solved, but not before several deaths occurred. Here is
an anagram about an obvious truth of the situation, but some might see it as in poor taste.]
Sniper attacks = Parts in casket.
[August 2002 -
Comedian and satirist Chris Morris's television series
Brass Eye causes controversy with its episode on paedophiles, for
which acritical celebrities were convinced to say some of the most inane
things imaginable. The programme was intended as an indictment of the
sensationalism surrounding the subject, but many felt this was
inappropriate - not least the celebrities who were duped.]
That "Brass Eye" episode covering pedos =
Deceived sheep are angry so sob "Stop it!"
[May 2002 -
Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is assassinated. The
right-wing gay politician's anti-immigration stance was the source of much
criticism. Note: no disrespect is intended in the anagram; that's just
what the letters yielded. 'Fruit' is a slightly dated and probably not
politically correct term for a homosexual man.]
Pim Fortuyn dies. = Fruity imp's done.
[November 2001 -
Michael Lasseter, desperate to collect
his camera from where he left it in a major US airport after
he passed the security checks, etc., evaded guards, ran the wrong
way on escalators, and so forth. The airline, which cancelled or delayed
hundreds of flights during a search for him, files a lawsuit. I speculate that it would be
slightly ironic if, to pay legal fees...]
Michael S. Lasseter ~ sells shite camera.
or
Michael Lasseter = Camera - he sells it.
And also, perhaps,
Michael S. Lasseter = Careless male shit.
[Sicily's Mount Etna made the news in 2000 then makes another appearance in 2001.]
Etna's eruption = Nature opens it.
[July 2001 -
Metallica's James Hetfield enters a rehabilitation
clinic to deal with alcohol abuse. He described rehab as one of the
scariest experiences of his life.]
Hetfield in rehab
= Beer? I find health!
= Fit headline here.
or
Hetfield is placed in rehab. =
Panic filled this beer-head.
[November 2000 -
A controversial US Presidential election
and its aftermath consume the news media.]
Our biggest headlines ~ said "GEORGE BUSH LET IN".
[Several authors have come to the conclusion that one William Jefferson Clinton has all the hallmarks of a sex addict. Claiming to have this medical condition might be a good way of escaping jail time.]
Anxious lad cited ~ sexual addiction.
[In and out of the news, the 'School of the Americas' in Fort Benning, Georgia, has been responsible for providing military training to people who went on to rule over their home countries in Central and South America as tyrants. Its stated goals are laudable enough, but many demonstrators feel that those are only part of the story.]
Fort Benning = Benign front.
School of the Americas =
A coach of some Hitlers.
[This is an anagram on the tragic events affecting the former Yugoslavia.]
Yugoslavians = Guys in a salvo.
These pages are © 2002-2012 Anna Shefl